Blackout International

Thought Process for the Malcontent.

I.

I am.

I am nothing.

I am nothing outside of myself.


I am nothing outside of myself.


Nothing.

Nothing is important.

Nothing is important outside of myself.


Nothing is important outside of myself.


Why?


Because nothing is still something.

Something still requires attention.

Attention requires interest.

Interest requires regard.

Therefore, nothing is important.

Therfore, I and everything around me is important...even if only to myself.

The Nature of Denial.

I recently came to realize that many of us live in denial of our true nature, and are generally conflicted and unhappy. A certain special friend of mine and I had a conversation recently regarding this very fact. I am proud to say that I finally feel a bit more at home in my own skin for the first time in possibly as much as ten years. For the longest time, I felt as if I were in someone else's body. Not in the "Sybil" sense, just conflicted. If you feel this way, get in touch with the "why" of the situation. More than likely, you are denying your nature, and in turn, denying needs and wants that make you happy as a person. Not only that, but I felt guilty (for reasons that may seem silly) about my nature for quite a long time. By overcoming that guilt, I now feel free and empowered, and you can't beat that.

Be true to yourself. You are all you've got. Even if you are in a relationship, you are still just that: you. Do not be an extension of someone else, be yourself. For better, or for worse.

Okay, I'm getting off my soapbox now.

Little Miss Powder Keg (Rev. 2)

I knew a girl;
she was lonely,
she was homely,
she was her only...

novelty

and she said:

Please excuse me if I explode;
Please excuse me while I violate health codes;
Please excuse me if I explode;
Please excuse me while I take time to reload;

forgive me,
forgive me.

I lost a girl;
She was broken;
Some said outspoken;
she felt like a token...

novelty

Please excuse me if I explode;
Please excuse me if I crack under my load;
Please excuse me if I explode;
Please excuse me with this gun to my frontal lobe

Forget me, forget me.

The girl is gone;
But she lives on:
In the hearts and in the minds;
Of the people at that place and time.

Please excuse me while I corrode;
Please excuse me if haunt your abode;
Please excuse me while I erode;
Please excuse me......

While I collect what I am owed.

According to me;
She was no novelty;
But she simply couldn't see;
And ended this a casualty.

Old Automated Kiddie Rides

You KNOW what I am talking about. Sitting outside the grocery store, sits a pony, or a bumblebee, or a race car on a stand. When money is dropped into the coin-box, the ride shuffles, vibrates, gallops, etc. Maddeningly enough, They all seem to have the same motion. Up and down.

Well, that is my metaphor for the day. Life is a kiddie ride. Put in your money, get jostled around for a bit, and feel relatively unsatisfied. As a child, no one could stay away from them, and when the process was complete, you left feeling confused, and maybe a bit upset. Why confused? Because, as children, we did not know what being cheated truly felt like. We were so innocent then. So enters the cosmic joke. We stop the kiddie rides as we get older, but fail to realize that we are on one massive kiddie ride called life. Spend your money, and a symphony of services and products become available, but do not make you content, as you feel they should. Ultimately, you will get off the ride, and feel disappointed. Why?

Because material posessions will not make you happy the way you think they will.

I should know. I am the king of gadgets/disappointment devices.

What's even more sad about this is that everyone will agree on the above statement, but we all do it anyway. Almost all of us need that jolt of something new. I know very few people that are firmly in control of this need. They recieve my utter respect. It is almost an addiction, and needs to be overcome.

End rampant consumerism.

I'm not saying to throw your TV out the window, or start calling your parents "capitalist pigs"; I'm simply saying we could all use a bit more simplicity in our lives. No, you don't need that PDA, you have a perfectly good one over there. Well, I know it is one year newer, but can't you wait until your device has two birthdays at least? When does it really cease to be useful? Oh, this new one has Wi-Fi? Oh, so you have an access point in your house. No? Oh, Starbucks? How often are you there? Hmmmm. Like twice a month, huh? Yeah, I see a definate need for you to have this.

Stop the madness now.

Everybody wants some. Ultimately, most of us are still just selfish children. We just don't realize that either.

Coming into it's own.

As you may have noticed, Blackout International is undergoing some format changes, and is coming into it's own, albeit slowly. Have patience, and best of all, have fun reading.

The date of my birth.

Blackout is 28 today! Yay.

The sun will rise on this day, just like any other. The sun will set on it's eve, indiscernible from another. Every day just like it's latter and it's former. Take heart, another day! Give thanks to your father and mother.

Live life like every day is like your birthday. Take hope away from your failures, and self-respect from your accomplishments. It is a fine time in which to be alive.

The Doldrums.

I drift in the doldrums, day by day - minute by minute - second by second with only my mind to keep me company. Leave this place? A saving grace? Perhaps on a steaming vessel! Oh!...do not taunt, unlikely prize. Perhaps upon Death's dark wing...My face gaunt, after deserving tries.

I am burned, and I am thirsty. There is only salt in this water, and only discontent in this unhappy light. I crave detail on this horizon; to have it teem with life. Not this naked, lifeless corpse separating the heavens and the deep blue water.

Perchance to drift upon a friendly current to a pleasant destination? Yes. A small, but picturesque isle, defiantly breaking the surface of the waters. Bucolic in it's nature, but a fine landing, nonetheless - for it is a king among pawns, an ace among deuces. It is the only feature within miles. Given the situation, a not unhappy destination.

And still, a dream, it is. No amount of desire will make it more real, no intention strong enough to call it true.

Will I die here?

It is possible and probable.

I have faith I will endure.

Yet, simply flip a coin, or roll the dice, my fate is unsure.

Blog "comments" feature added.

Comments feature coded into the ol' blog. Yay. Now you can rant and rave too. I give you this powerful feature with high hopes. Don't disappoint me, kids.

Thank the gods for that!

Giving thanks, belatedly.

I give thanks for my family; Without whom, this last year would have been much more difficult.

- To my friends; Who were always there for me when I needed them. You know who you are ;). 1000 blessings to you guys.

- To my health; Hopefully, I can maintain my lifestyle AND keep a modicum of grace in the process.

- To quick resolutions of bad situations. Nuff said.

- To my sanity. Thanks for being loyal to me, buddy. Well, at least most of the time.

- To music. You get me up when I don't want to, you calm me when I am angered, and you enhance my life in ways no human can. Big ups to you.

- To freedom. Freedom to do what I want, when I want, and not have to worry who's watching.

- To all my other blessings I might forget.


To all of you reading this, I wish you a plentiful holiday season, and new year.

May the road rise up to meet you, and the wind always be at your back. Godspeed through life, travelers.